Saturday, October 19, 2013

To Dwarf Or Not to Dwarf

An Actual conversation  in a made up world.

Tommy: Oh my God, these two guys came over the other day and one of them had the most enormous cock. I had to take pause because it made him look like he had dwarfism, which is kinda hot , i mean if the dwarf is hot , i wonder if dwarfs like to party, you know like ..party ..party.  It was crazy ..it was so big..swear to fucking god….huh huh ,…huge….huh huh huh ,…swear.

John: Huh.. we don't know any dwarfs…i don't think .. I mean nobody has come out to me and said hey !Like I'm a dwarf…you can put drinks on my head , while you play with my HUUUGGE cock. 

Reynaldo:  Do dwarfs come out. I mean , it's pretty obvious , that they're dwarfs . So why would they have to come out? What would they say? Oh my God you guys ! It's been so hard  hiding this but  I'm a dwarf..oh my god (sobbing) please don't judge me .. I whack off to the hobbit, and i am so ashamed. ( sobbing)

Tommy: Jesus!  Why are you so loud ? Orlando, i think maybe you should take that who on the road , I mean you've been here for days now. 

Reynaldo; Are you asking me to leave? My name is Reynaldo. Yeah OK I can go, fuck this , and thanks.

Josh: You can't leave I need you to drive me to pick up my free aids food. And then we were going to go jean shopping , huh, you never say no to the mall, whatever!

Tommy: Don't you have the flu John ? Your face is covered with herpes, maybe jean shopping with Fernando, is not such grey idea.  I just got  a text message format hat guy, the dwarf. It says " Last night was hot. Can't wait for round two."  all in lower case letters , what do you think that means?

John: It means , he is clearly trying to work out his dwarfdom and thinks you're the one to bear the weight of this earth shattering news. 

Tommy: Uh uhh. With lower case letters, isn't there , like an emoji, or something? 

Reynaldo: I got your fucking emoji, you fucking dwarf loving bitch!! (shoots the finger) Hey do you have any socks i can borrow? 

Tommy: I'm just going to ask him. I'm going to be like , hey dude , are you like a dwarf or like part dwarf, or whats the deal? 

John: You can't ask him if he's a dwarf, Ask him if he has relatives in Hollywood or in the North Pole.Ask him to take you  to hi pot of gold.

Tommy : That's a leprechaun.

Reynaldo: So . 

Tommy: well that's different. 

John: Why?

Tommy: Cuz they're Irish and this is America.  God, we're not  fucking racists. 

John : Huh, he's not black he's Irish.

Reynaldo : Who the fuck is Irish , I think Irish guys are so fucking hot, especially the short ones.

Tommy : the leprechauns

Reynaldo: Those aren't real , leprechauns aren't real.

John; But dwarfs are, and Tommy is dating one…ooohhh ..you've eaten dwarf jiz..ooohh…freak ..dwarf loving freak!

Tommy: Domingo, is short. 

Reynaldo: Fuck you , man., I'm  not a dwarf, I'm just average height. Above average where it counts .

Tommy: Whatever dude , get your shit and get going Donalldo.

John: Uh uhh , Jeans …. mall… uh uhhh.

Tommy: Oh my god I found an emoji that looks like Billy Barty.

John: I think he's a midget.

Tommy: Is there a difference?  

Reynaldo: Yeah you stupid dwarf loving freak , you are a racist.


Tommy: Do they have to come out too?

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