If there were a way for an entire life to appear to be whining, James had managed to master this act in his 30 years on earth. With every empty step and schlumping of each leg to make his way, James went on about his life, unaware that he had been affected by whining and, bitching on his part. Affected on what had to be, a molecular level. James went on about his everyday life oblivious and thinking what he had always thought, he was in control.
To James, he was the master of his life, he could make things happen , that with just the mere ever so fleeting , suggestion of an ill-conceived plan to stick it to someone , he could start things rolling in that direction. To take it a step further, he considered himself to be a real mover and a shaker.
I often had to remind him, a person has to leave the house to make things happen and vengeance is a dish best served cold, but somebody’s got to make that dish and then serve it. As far as the lady Miss Princess Kitten Chow was concerned cooking and serving are for the help. Our little mover and shaker was exhausted just from rubbing two brain cells together to form a complete sentence. James had just hatched a plan from start to finish. He would need a nap.
"Ah Pookz." That’s pooks with a "Z". " How delicate you are, like a little petal. I had no Idea." When he woke up from his nap he could get started on finding the help he would need for this endeavor.
" What kind of help?" he would ask , his brow creased into a little canopy of confusion rest heavily on his tiny little brain.
"I hear that St Mary’s hospital has a great psychiatric care facility, or I know a couple of guys who will mess with your head for next to nothing, but they will have to fuck you."
But this had all become far too much for him to handle. Eyes glazed over and with all brain function sputtering down to its most basic of functions, James slipped away, surrendering himself to slumber. I stared at him some nights trying to figure out if suffocating someone with a pillow as they slept could somehow be made to look an accident, or maybe self -defense, a suicide maybe, maybe he choked on it when he was eating.
How had he gotten to this point in his life. What did James do on a daily basis to define who he was , what events would come together to define James as James for just one more day. How did he live his life as a successful whiny bitch. As far As I could tell James only real job on this planet was to produce methane gas and waste. Other than that he wasn’t skilled at very much. He could speak, and walk from place to place without making a puddle or leaving any debris behind. He knew how to ask for food, and when it was time to go to sleep. And these things he was very good at, but nobody had ever taught him how to do anything else. And that was fine with him.
His life’s ambition was to become the house pet of a very rich homosexual who was unable to perform sexually due to his respirator and failing kidneys, but who had a heart of gold and really wanted to make sure that James always had a bowl of kibble and a bowl of water, right next to the doggie door. And he almost had it all, until the man of his dreams died from a coronary he had while taking a huge shit brought on by the Viagra he took upon James request.
" If you want me to blow you , you will need to do two things , keep the brake locked on your wheelchair and get your dick hard, take this. And please kill the lights, I guess that’s three things. Math is hard, especially fractions."
When James found him sitting on the toilet 18 hours later, he was grief stricken. And when he found out the old man shit his life away before changing his will to leave James some kibble, He was really pissed. James had learned a valuable lesson about timing and Viagra, but like James said; Math was hard especially fractions. So true my little mover and shaker.
But those kinds of opportunities only come around once in a lifetime and for a person like James who is more inclined to lose all of his teeth before he’s thirty due to poor personal hygiene, his life span was really only 35 years. There wouldn’t be enough time left for James to fall in love again , get the guy to change his will and then wait for him to die or not wait for him to die, there simply wasn’t enough time , for all that planning and then all the napping. Who would hire the help?
There he was, so late in life and he would have to find a new plan and possibly a career, or a government agency who would say he was crazy so he could get a check, a cab company with a poor accident record to hit him so he could live off of a settlement check . Suddenly the world was his. James could do anything he wanted to with his life. The future was just ahead bright and full of opportunity. James wanted to make sure there would be snacks when we get there because if he was going to move towards the future he would need snacks because he gets low blood sugar and could become very cranky, Making travel very difficult.
to be continued
