A Dinosaur Named Lou (part 2

A Dinosaur Named Lou (part 2 )As the hours went by I sat quietly, waiting for the moment when I could be set free. It must have been the Gods punishing me for something I had done, something that had gone unpunished, until now. Lou would be their messenger. The last living gay porn dinosaur was now the black angel of death, sent down from heaven or up from hell, to make things right. He was sent to serve justice upon me, I just wish I could remember what I had done in life that was so heinous , I would be made to endure Lou's brushes with fame.
There was quite a list of WOMEN Lou had been stalking for the past 20 years. I would even go as far as to say , it was his life's work. And I thought I was the one being punished. These women have had to endure Lou in their lives for 20 years. Judging from the thousands of pictures he had shown me , these celebrity women had not only endured it , they had grown used to it.
their faces, over time, had become docile and it was apparent , just by looking at them in chronological order, at some point they resigned themselves to the fact that Lou would be in their lives forever. It was either smile and give him what he wanted or kill him. After weighing the choices they probably reached the conclusion; whats a few snapshots and an autograph or two.
The only thing I couldn't understand is why in God's name would he choose Pia Zadora as one of his chosen women celebrities.
All I could come up with was there must have been a lull that year , and now he's just committed to her.
My hands clutch the upolsthery of the couch as I feel the frustration of my situation turn inward on me. Why am I here? I dont want to listen to this crap and pretend to be interested just to be polite. I toy with the idea of throwing myself on to the Cher shrine, I giggle as I imagine all the Cher memorabilia collapsing under my weight and Lou screaming as if somebody were tearing an extremity from his body. That would be awesome.
Suddenly the knocking starts again, It was Lou's ex , Peter, He just so happened to be my friend as well. The pounding on the door started early in the evening yesterday , now well into the wee hours of the morning, his pounding was telling us , he was really pissed. Lou verified that sentiment with a very low but still audible "Whoa." I would've thought after spending most of the night climbing on and around Lou's trailer, he would be exhausted and given up. Stalking is such a motivator , I mean, when you're really hellbent on destroying the other person , it can really keep you going.
More pounding but this time Peter is screaming as he presses his face against the door of the trailer. We can't make out what he's saying but I heard the words "Die", "Mother Fucker" "Shitbag" and " You will both pay." clear as day. So needless to say I started gathering my things and I put my shoes on , just in case I'm forced to run for my life , or in the event of a fire , or an explosion, what if somebody pulls out a firearm, I don't know what these fags are capable of out here in Concord. It's best to be prepared for the worst, which would be anything from a flash flood to the towering inferno.
I give Lou a look that says , if this gets any crazier , I'm outta here and I will be seeing you at your funeral. I couldn't think of any reason why the both of us should die , Peter wasn't mad at me anyway. Lou was like " Are you just going to abandon me."
I'm like "I'm not your parents Lou, besides II thought Jackals ate their young."
He's like " He's crazy! He'll kill me! Listen to this message on my answering machine."
He hits play and I can tell it's Peter screaming at Lou. I listen and I can tell it's all staged by Lou because on the recording he sounds like the voice of reason, and I can tell just in the short time I've known him, he couldn't pull that off without some rehearsal time.
So I'm like " I don't buy it, and why are you still using an answering machine?"
He's like "Well why don't I just let him in, huh. Then you would see, he's crazy."
I looked him right in the face and said " Hey pot that guy out there is kettle and he's here to call you black, now let me out of here, I'll crawl out of the bathroom window." And I beeline it for the john, Lou in hysterics tailing behind me.
" No!! Wait!!! I cant be alone!!! Help me!!! Don't go!!!" he says as he starts to cry.
I look at him and for a moment I almost buy into it , but then I'm like " Rehearsal time, see ya later."


Maybe it was the rush of cold air hitting the back of my neck but I stopped climbing on to the toilet and spun around but Lou was gone, and the pounding had stopped. I slowly eased myself back onto the floor when I heard the low bass rumble of Lou talking to somebody in the other room. That stupid mother fucker went and opened the door , I thought to myself. By the time I turned the corner out into the living room, Lou and Peter had already started brawling. Now these are not small men, Lou is a big burly strapping lad and Peter has certainly seen a gym or two in his lifetime. I was a bit taken by surprise at how violent the scuffle had become, so quickly. I froze, unable to do anything, they were going at it so fast all I could do was watch .
Lou would occassionally look over at me to make sure I was taking it all in, he was making sure I was taking a many mental notes as could , in case I was questioned by the police or should I decide to make this the stuff of legend and gay folklore.
It was so obvious , watching Lou execute every punch and every cry of pain, he lived for this kind of shit. People like Lou live for this kind of drama, it makes them feel alive and in some twisted way , loved. Gross.
Peter , however was clearly working out some pain issues all over Lou's ass and hadn't even noticed me standing there until I said his name, only because I was so confused by his behavior. It was a side of him I had never seen . I would,ve have never dreamed he was capable of such anger , the worst thing he had ever done to me was try to fuck me when I passed out on him one night. Ive been recently made aware of the rule in Gayland , that anybody who passes out on a sex hookup is fair game.
Gee and all I ever wanted to do when that happened ,was bring my bike in and park it in their ass, because I feel safer when I park my bike inside.
I was like "Peter?" and he looked right at me and suddenly he was Peter again.
He was like " What are you doing here?" And there he was , the guy who helped me move twice , the one I had crush on because hewas so darned funny when he came over twice, there was the guy I knew before Lou came along and ruined it.
I smiled and he started to birng the sides of his mouth up when Lou took the opurtunity to sucker punch him. What a dick.
Peter , was now fully raging, and he was back up and at Lou in seconds. He grabs Lou and throws him into the Britney Spears Shrine. Lou screams like a banshee as the whole pile of Britney comes down on top of him , "NOOOOOOOO!!!"
This made me feel a bit queasy.
Before I can tell him to stop, Peter is after Lou again, pummeling him in the face. That was it. I decided I was done, I wanted to go home , and I wanted Peter to drive me. I walked over to them, and in mid swing I said "Hey!" and when they both looked I hit Peter in the face and then Lou in the face. I think it surprised them with my right hook , I loved the way they were both oohhing and aahing as they clutched their faces, for a moment I felt like I was the strongest guy in the whole trailer park.
I grabbed Peter and I looked him squarely in the eye and said " Let's go ,I'm sure one of the neighbors has called the police . I cannot be thrown in jail in this town, no one will ever find us. So come on!" And you know what, he did.
By the time we walked back to his truck, he had transformed back to the nice Peter. He was all apologies and crying as he drove me back to the San Francisco. I listened like was his therapist to every word , as he told me the story of how he came to fall in love with Lou. I owed him that much. Surprisingly, it wasn't all too unfamiliar or strange.
After it was all said and done, we were laughing at the absurdity of it all. And when we finally got to my place, I asked Peter if he wanted to come up and smoke pot, but he said no. He did however,get out of his truck and with a huge kiss goodbye he says " I never should have over looked you?" and drove away.
Finally I was home and standing all alone on the sidewalk and I couldn't stop thinking about what Peter just said. What a pussy, I never knew that he did. SEE that is whats wrong with all of these fags, they've got all kinds of problems.Spit.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/074828579162311544450