The Magic Wand

Standing there alone against a cold vending machine , my face pressed and squeaking against the glass, friction caused by the manic chewing my mouth was involved in because i was determined to work this piece of gum , out, until it was as rouch as sand and then nothing ,  gone. Why was I doing this, and why am i telling you about it ? Because i can.
Standing across from me face pressed against the glass of the cold vending machine for a totally different set of reasons , was Ivan , the last straight man i sswore to god, that I would get fixated on.
He was there becasue he was convinced that there was a way for us, well really him , to fuck witht he lock and acwuire us all the sustenance we would need for a whole day. A whole day of what? I asked myself , like i could give a fuck what it was. Herll we could stand pressed against every vending machine in town , as long as when were done , i get to stand pressed against Ivan.
And he never said not to my idea, but then again i never really asked him.
Ivan's hand was stetched high above him towards the top of the machine, his eyes fixed on mine, i could see he was not going to walk away from this without a handful of crap out of that machine.
He was like " Yeah dude this machine is legendary, all over town , for giving it up , every time.
I was like   " do we need food?"
And he was like , " Humans need food , man , the world needs food, everything neeeds food , even your mind, , come on."
How could nyone refuse such an enthusiastic invitation, faces pressed against the glass, we were closer than i had ever been to a heterosexual wiht a thing for getting his gay on , every so often. It was like catching the yeti ina butterfly net. Like braididng bigfoots hair, like synchronized swimming witht he loch ness monster, It was dangerous and exciting , we were outlaws, together it ws us against the manand we didn't anything or anyone to tell us we were wrong,
Ivan fumbled around witht he top a little more and suddenly ,it heaved open like an acient tomb for borderline diabetics and professional tweeters.
I had never been so proud. I mean think about it , this vending machine was legendary and we not only found it but flipped it over and fucked it in the ass, like a bitch. i felt myslef getting a boner.
I wast terrified to do anything but stand there gratefully shoveling food into my mouth .
Ivaan , with his shirt off  was like, " I'm getting a whole lot of money soon.we could be roommates."
Oh my god was he asking me to marry him? I choked on my butterfingers.
I was like " Oh sure me you and verybody else in town. shut up."\
He was like " I was with a guy for a itt;e while, like together, liek dating... each other."
I was iike " Thats cool and what did yo learn from that>"
I van was like " THat my cock is like a perfect 8 inches, and when i stroke it its like a magic wand."
My dick was raging so hard i thought it migh explode from the head into a huge cloud of glitter, the 5th gay element/
I was like " Wow , its hot in  here, arent you hot, lets go lean up against an ice cream machine for a while."
Money , how much money, ? So I asked , " what do you mean roommates? I dont want to live with anyone i'm not having sex with , you dig?
Smetimes the silence between two people can sond like a stampeded of wild female truck drivers alll  heading for the same toliet. I began to feel diminutive in its presence. I sheepishly wiped the butterfinger from my face and began to move away from Ivan , besides I had come like three times already , i was exhausted.