SUCKABCRAZEE

High School

Here are a few things that would shock the kids from my high school

Every article of clothing I own was either given to me, found by me on the sidewalk, or found on the sidewalk by another person and then given to me.

I once had a non sexual role in a clown porn ( non sexual, I ain't gettin' up on no clown.)

During a radical fairy pan sexual party I accidentally dosed myself with LSD when the host of the party failed to tell me the orange juice was laden with it. I had just finished three huge glasses of it , to kill my thirst after riding over on my bike. The rest of the night included me and soft trapeze, a hallucination about hovering over the room, and three witches trying to lure me into some cauldron play. I woke days later, a changed man.

There is gay porn playing in background endlessly , in my life. It's the new gay radio.

I was once trapped in La Guardia airport with "Color Me Badd "

During a performance of school house rock the musical, in front of an audience full of mothers and children, I shouted " Show us your tits (interplanetary) Janet.", when I was handed the microphone during the sing along.

I once work doing production for a porn company, and Michael Brandon the only true Porn Star in my opinion, was my boss. Then only a year he was no longer my boss, he had become my dealer, .And never lost an ounce of class in the process. I ,however, experienced something most people would consider the opposite of that. But it'sLike this, nobody got hurt, everybody went home with a story to tell, And , I promise I am going to pay for the ambulance that picked me up after I ran into the wall on Valencia street. Michael warned me to not drink the GHBish from the bottle, so I did. The rest of the story was just a blur of sirens and medical mumbo jumbo, so I won't bore you with that part.

My irrational fear of Zombies is growing every day. I went out and got a hand book on what to do in the event of a zombie attack. And there are others out there who fear the same thing . I know it. I thought I saw a zombie the other day and , I ran like a scared little girl.

I like to eat pancakes or waffles with peanut butter and jelly on top.

I once worked at the gap for only 8 hours. So that I could learn how to fold my clothes just like them. Now my laundry is perfectly folded or wadded up into my bike bag.

I have been hit by 65 cars while riding my bike, but I wont give it up.

I had phone sex when I was 8, repeatedly.

I gave my first blow job when I was 9.

I have seen catholic priest having sex with each other, under the pier while I was a house boy in Provincetown., Massachusetts.

I have had everything I owned stolen from me four times, by people who were close to me. And each time the amount of the things I would replace would get drastically smaller, until now I have my bike The silver surfer, I have my guitar, I have a computer and a small collection of clothing, bike parts and videos . I keep the videos on an ipod I am using a a hard drive.

I never had children. I am afraid of being eaten alive by a vagina.

Most everybody thinks I am an asshole , or a thief. And that's just my friends, (thank you folks)

I never get invited out to dinner and a movie, are people in California doing that anymore?

I was the one who wrote the death threat to Mrs Jindra if she didn't pass everyone in the class at the end of the semester. Hope you enjoyed your A. I know for some of you it's the shining moment of your entire life , that and getting your first job at 7 eleven.

I haven't done much better. One of my first adult jobs was cleaning houses wearing the client chosen costume. Some times they wouldd ask me to talk with an accent. My German accent always sounded like I was trying to talk like a black person. I was fired by the same client and replaced with a Strapping young black man.

And the last thing that would shock them. I haven't gone bald or gotten fat.